Galatians 5:16-17

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. Galatians 5:16-17

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Just let. me love you

I love you guys.
I am sad to be leaving you for the next couple months. Circles has been such an awesome gift of community.

The retreat was so cool this weekend:

Nick C, thank you for praying over me that, "I walk in victory, now."
Nick A, thank you so much for reminding me that "I can't outgive the giver, and that I can't love Him without Him letting me!!" That was huge for me to hear.
Dannah, thanks for opening up about your desert that you feel you're in. I am too.
Lindsay thank you for posting that Graham Cooke video that reminded me that I can't do anything to make God love me more. I was not walking in an understanding of that.

God's illuminating something for me lately...My lack of really receiving the deep, validating, and freeing love of the Father. Brennan Manning described it, "to stop living in my head and sink down into my heart and feel liked and accepted." I understand it, but I haven't been living it. And I'm thankful for confusion and despair driving me back to it. I've lately been thinking the Christian life is about doing great things for God as a validating end in itself. Ironically enough, I've driven myself into a stupid, confused place of not doing anything.

I've given such little attention to rejoicing in the Truth that I am God's son!!! I AM! :) and he's obsessed with me. He says to his angels, look at that stud down there, I love him so much - I just wish he learned that it was less about trying to figure it all out and he would just rest in me and all my powerful love alone.


  1. I've been learning much lately about spiritual formation. And how it's simply a reality of human existence. Every thought, action, emotion, behavior and relationship we author is surely shaping us into some kind of spiritual being. - either conforming us to the wholeness of Christ or ... shaping us into self destructive beings. When we find ourselves in that wilderness or desert season of our spiritual formation, I'm reminded that God works in the deep and unseen parts of our spirit - even before we have awarenesses of their existence... in these times we often don't see the ways His Spirit is working until the results surface.

    Your decisions are surely making you pliable in God's hands, Billy. It's awesome to see how you have stepped into the awarenesses of how you receive the love of Our Father, in the midst of this dry season. Now you can continue in this life long process of growth. For that very reason God is existent and in operation in every single moment of our lives.

  2. last weekend was amazing. it was such a blessing to see all the men lay hands on each other and pray. i'm so excited for you and the ways that the Lord will be shaping you in the next couple months. you have to keep blogging! i will be praying for you and for that continued acceptance of the Father's love and affection. such a vital lesson to learn and experience to experience!

  3. I'm sad you left too but I am excited that you are coming back soon :-) I love what you wrote about! My favorite part was your last paragraph. God is obsessed with you and I forget that he is obsessed with me. Thanks for reminding me about that. You are great and I will miss having you around for a little while.

  4. I am sad you have peaced out.
    And you are a stud.
    And I'm excited for your experience in Hawaii.
    I'll be praying for you.
    But, I'm also excited about your return to Circles.
    Keep blogging please :)

  5. i love being a part of a kingdom that's so incredibly backwards that we can be thankful for confusion and despair. that's pretty amazing. pretty. amazing.

  6. So bummed we have to lose ya, you have been a valuable insight to our community. Always appreciate your posts, and have fun out there on that little island of Hawaii lol. A bit jealous, but try not to forget us too fast :) I encourage you to continue blogging so that way we can hear about all your super cool experiences! love ya brother. Be safe!

  7. the last part. ahhh, YES. I wish I really REALLY got it.