I love you guys.
I am sad to be leaving you for the next couple months. Circles has been such an awesome gift of community.
The retreat was so cool this weekend:
Nick C, thank you for praying over me that, "I walk in victory, now."
Nick A, thank you so much for reminding me that "I can't outgive the giver, and that I can't love Him without Him letting me!!" That was huge for me to hear.
Dannah, thanks for opening up about your desert that you feel you're in. I am too.
Lindsay thank you for posting that Graham Cooke video that reminded me that I can't do anything to make God love me more. I was not walking in an understanding of that.
God's illuminating something for me lately...My lack of really receiving the deep, validating, and freeing love of the Father. Brennan Manning described it, "to stop living in my head and sink down into my heart and feel liked and accepted." I understand it, but I haven't been living it. And I'm thankful for confusion and despair driving me back to it. I've lately been thinking the Christian life is about doing great things for God as a validating end in itself. Ironically enough, I've driven myself into a stupid, confused place of not doing anything.
I've given such little attention to rejoicing in the Truth that I am God's son!!! I AM! :) and he's obsessed with me. He says to his angels, look at that stud down there, I love him so much - I just wish he learned that it was less about trying to figure it all out and he would just rest in me and all my powerful love alone.